S.O.S

09/02/2010


I just don’t know what to write.

I feel bad about myself lately.

Perfect life, jeez, where can you get that? Every single soul on this bloody earth has their own crisis, their own drama, their own fucking issues. But why the hell I feel like I’m alone when I’m with my family? Why do I feel like it’s the heaviest weight I ever have? Why I can’t feel ok when all I try is to feel like one every single day? What the heck is wrong with me?

Sometimes I imagine I’d be sitting on the beach getting high with alcohol, drugs, or just smoke whatever I got and then drive home and since I’d be high I’m gonna hit that tree or crash head on against a truck or any oncoming car or I’d swerve out of control and my car would drop off a cliff or something.

Sometimes I’d rather not go to sleep or wake up.

I’m suicidal.

It’s a term I’d rather not use but it’s how I feel.

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